Storytelling Week 6: The Three Goods

Once upon a time, in the old days, there lived a man by the name of Tschu Tschu. He was the kindest man in the region, and he just so happened to live in the vilest town in China. This town belonged to the Triad, one of the fiercest Chinese gangs, and the town served as the headquarters for this profoundly wicked organization. The town thrived on its reputation as the most inhospitable and cruel settlement in all the land, and Tschu Tschu was constantly ruining their bad name by doing good.

Tschu Tschu had a heart the size of Xinjiang, and no matter where he went, good emanated from him and seeped into the hearts of all those nearby. He was calm and disciplined, and no evil could get done in his presence. This infuriated all of the residents of the village, but the elders just couldn’t bring themselves to punish him for his good deeds.

He wore a high hat on his head, adorned with two peacock feathers. His garments were made of humble materials, yet he looked more put together than even the head gangster himself. At his side hung a bag full of candy, and each child he passed became a recipient of one of the sweets. He was given to helping the poor and feeding the homeless, and he tended to give away anything of value almost as soon as he got it in order to provide for others. Anybody that was wronged by the gang came to him for aid. Thus he kept this up for years and was a real party pooper on the town known for its cruelty.

Then the new Mountain Master came to the town.

When he arrived, he first went about to the homes of all of the gang families and listened to their complaints. Being the new head of this criminal organization, he wanted to make sure everything was running smoothly. Going from house to house, it soon became clear to the Mountain Master that there were three goods in that area. This was three good things too many.

Mountain Master knew what he must do. He immediately went to Tschu Tschu and confronted him with a sword pressed against his throat.

(Mountain Master at work)

“Why are you doing this?” asked Tschu Tschu.

“I am the new Mountain Master,” replied the other. “I have come to uphold the standard of evil in the area. All of the residents here are cruel and selfish people, and yet they cannot be completely evil because of three good things in this area. I have come to ask that you do away with two of them, and in time, maybe you’ll do away with the third as well.”

Tschu Tschu was deeply afraid, and his only wish was to get out of the situation alive.

“What are the three good things?” asked Tschu Tschu. “Tell me so I can try to make everything how you want it to be.”

“The first good,” said the Mountain Master, “is a meadow full of Bengal tigers that brings good luck to everyone that comes to them. The second good is a dragon that spews gold coins out of his mouth when he comes to the banks of the river at the first of every month. See to it that these good things stop happening.”

“What is the third good thing?” asked Tschu Tschu.

“That you will realize in time. Now go and see to these things.” said his intimidator.

Tschu Tschu made haste to the meadow, where he scared the tigers off by shooting fireworks all around the pasture. Then he waited until the first of the month, at which time he ran down to the banks of the river where the dragon was raining down gold coins on everyone that came near. He charged at the dragon with a team full of giant oxen, and the dragon was so scared that he vowed never to return.

After he did these things, Tschu Tschu had an epiphany. He ran to the residence of the Mountain Master and found him sitting in his garden, plotting the routes of his money laundering operation.

“Mountain Master!” he cried, “I know what the third good is! It’s me!”

“You are correct,” replied the man. “What do you make of this?”

Tschu Tschu, looking long and hard at the Mountain Master, said with earnestness and ferocity, “I have been doing good all my life, and I realize now that I have not had time to focus on myself. Being good meant giving and giving, and in return I was getting nothing. I’m done with that life. Train me up in your ways, so that in time I may be your right hand man and maybe even your successor.”

Pleased with what he heard, the Mountain Master replied, “Wonderful. I was hoping you would say this. Follow me. We will begin the initiation ritual.”

From that day on, Tschu Tschu became the most evil Triad in the region, and the town fully prospered as a land of evil and corruption.

Author's Note: For this week, I decided to read Chinese Fairy Tales. The story that stood out to me most was The Three Evils. In the original, the main character is awful and terrorizes the town in which he lives. After some time, a new mandarin appears and pleads with him on behalf of the people to get rid of the three evils that plague the residents. The evil man agrees, and after getting rid of two of the evils, he finally realizes that he is the third and leaves the town forever. For my story, I decided to make the character the complete opposite of the original. He starts out as the only good person in town, and after getting rid of the two good things, he realizes that the evil life is the life for him.
The Chinese Fairy Book, ed. by R. Wilhelm and translated by Frederick H. Martens (1921) Web source: UN-Textbook